Zombie post of another day

Chet Roberts:
Good evening, I'm Chet Roberts, and this is your 6 o'clock news.
Our top story today involves a flurry of activity on Capitol Hill as lawmakers scramble to pass a bill defining what, if any, rights Zombies have in society. For more we go to Jane Simmons, reporting from the steps of the Capitol, Jane?

Jane Simmons:
Thanks Chet. Here in Washington DC, the mood is frantic as the still unwritten bill for the Zombie Naturalization Act has actually been brought to the House floor for a vote. Meanwhile amendments are still flooding in as staffers do their best to assemble what is supposed to be landmark legislation.
Some citizens have raised concerns about lawmakers passing a bill that technically doesn't even exist yet, let alone one they haven't read, but the President has scheduled a press conference to try to put the public at ease about this legislation. Signals from the White House show this will be a very pleasant meeting between reporters and the President, with no inflammatory questions raised and an overall peaceful atmosphere.
The intervention by the President has done little to calm down certain groups here as several protests are scheduled for the day of his press conference, but I predict they won't come to much in the face of overwhelming opposition to their views.

Chet Roberts:
Jane, how will this legislation affect this year's election?

Jane Simmons:
Well Chet, word on the Hill is that there will be little effect on the election unless the bill excludes zombies from public office. With so little of the bill written so far, it's hard to say whether either side will see their candidate disqualified. As you know, both parties are running zombie candidates for the Presidency, as if in a rush to once again create an historic election.

Chet Roberts:
What about the controversies surrounding the candidates?

Jane Simmons:
It seems, Chet, that only one side of the political spectrum has their candidate's affairs in order. Zombie Roosevelt has so far run a streamlined, tech-savvy, clean race. The same cannot be said for Zombie Heston. After a long, bitter primary against Zombie Reagan, many say Zombie Heston's campaign efforts have ground to a halt. Talk of infighting and financial worries have plagued them since day one. According to one staffer, candidate Zombie Heston refuses to listen to many of his advisors, and after repeated attempts, they still have no luck prying his rifle from his cold, undead hand. It seems candidate Zombie Heston never lets go of his rifle, carrying it everywhere he goes, to campaign stops, fundraisers and political rallies. Washington insiders feel this could hurt him in several important swing states, no matter how much it might energize the party base.
Another controversy that has followed candidate Zombie Heston involves his citizenship status. While many are waiting to see the results of the legislation before Congress, there are those pushing the issue to the forefront. It seems some on the left believe Zombie Heston was not in fact reborn in the United States. A popular topic among left-leaning blogs, a movement is growing to have his rebirth certificate brought out into the public domain.

Chet Roberts:
Jane, is there a movement on the right seeking the same thing from candidate Zombie Roosevelt?

Jane Simmons:
There isn't, Chet. While some right-wing fringe groups have stated the case could be made for questioning Zombie Roosevelt's rebirth place, the idea hasn't gained much momentum, possibly because no one really cares.

Chet Roberts:
During the fierce primary battle between Zombie Heston and Zombie Reagan, some people raised the issue of the constitutionality of Zombie Reagan's candidacy, as he'd already served two terms as President prior to his first death. Is there any way this could become an issue for candidate Zombie Roosevelt as well?

Jane Simmons:
While it's true that prior to his first death Zombie Roosevelt was elected to four consecutive terms, there is little doubt as to the constitutionality of his election. While many on the right hold out hope that he might get disqualified because of the upcoming legislation, the overwhelming majority of people just don't seem to care.

Chet Roberts:
Live from Capitol Hill in Washington, that was Jane Simmons, thanks Jane.

Jane Simmons:
Thank you, Chet.

Chet Roberts:
After the break we'll take you live to San Francisco, where Jim Watson will give us the story of how a local group is doing their best to improve public opinion toward zombies.
Also we'll speak with several minority leaders about what they see as a political travesty with the upcoming election of a zombie President.