(Warning: Soul searching may be involved)
So the whole immigration issue has exploded across the country.
Great, another divisive issue for Americans to tear each other apart over.
But it is an important issue that must be resolved somehow.
From this debate, I'll put up a question that will hopefully make everyone think a bit about this situation.
Are people fine with illegal immigration because the people coming here are primarily Mexican? Sure, they want to come here to work, and be free, while only a small percentage commit crimes, whether through malice or ignorance of the law. Some of those crimes are especially violent, and particularly heinous, but that's not the majority. So does that make it fine?
Now for the soul searching. And remember, you don't have to answer here, or anywhere. In fact, you can go ahead and bury your response deep in the recesses of your soul where the things you don't want to admit to yourself, let alone someone else, reside.
If, instead of there being twelve million illegal immigrants of Mexican origin, it was twelve million illegal immigrants of middle eastern origin, most notably those of the Muslim faith, would you still be ok with it?
Most of them would only want to come here for work, and freedom. Only a small percentage would commit crimes, some especially violent, and particularly heinous.
Would people still be clamoring for them to have a path to citizenship, so they could come out of the shadows? In doing so, becoming a strong voting bloc, of course. Perhaps taking over entire sections of large cities, where the police won't go except under extreme circumstances.
But is it alright because it's actually Mexicans coming across the border, and the majority of violent crimes they commit (not that the majority of them are criminals) occur down in the border states? As opposed to say, millions of Muslims coming across the border, where only a small percentage will commit violent crimes, but those crimes could be planned to happen anywhere in the nation, the larger the target, the greater the impact? Does the fact that the crimes are unlikely to happen to you factor into the decision?
Just something to think about.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
New Collectibles!
Now, we all know that politics can be dirty business.
Whenever you get that much money and popularity mixed
together, you're bound to find an arena full of liars and cheats.
Not unlike the world of professional sports!
Some people even refer to politics as bloodsport.
Well, today we have a product for everyone that can't
get their fill of political chicanery and ridiculousness from
24-hour news channels and the internet.
That's right, taking a page out of the sports world's playbook,
we bring you, Collectible Political Cards!
(Click image to enlarge)
We have cards from all level of government to satisfy your
daily need for political outrage!
From the President, to the VP, 100 Senators, 435 Representatives,
50 Governors, big name political figures, and some of your
favorite mayors from around the country, we have them all!
These high-quality collectible cards come in packs of 15,
but order now and get your bulk order discount!
And for a limited time, with your order of 36 packs or
more, get a free "Right Wing Extremist" version of the
Barack Obama card! (seen above, bottom right)
Supplies are running out, so order now!
Whenever you get that much money and popularity mixed
together, you're bound to find an arena full of liars and cheats.
Not unlike the world of professional sports!
Some people even refer to politics as bloodsport.
Well, today we have a product for everyone that can't
get their fill of political chicanery and ridiculousness from
24-hour news channels and the internet.
That's right, taking a page out of the sports world's playbook,
we bring you, Collectible Political Cards!
(Click image to enlarge)
We have cards from all level of government to satisfy your
daily need for political outrage!
From the President, to the VP, 100 Senators, 435 Representatives,
50 Governors, big name political figures, and some of your
favorite mayors from around the country, we have them all!
These high-quality collectible cards come in packs of 15,
but order now and get your bulk order discount!
And for a limited time, with your order of 36 packs or
more, get a free "Right Wing Extremist" version of the
Barack Obama card! (seen above, bottom right)
Supplies are running out, so order now!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Hollywood Commentary
Now it's time for some enlightened commentary on the state of Hollywood, and movies in general.
As an amateur screenwriter, I find myself constantly dumbstruck at the types of movies, many large budget, that are being put out all the time. Can the people writing this stuff not come up with any original ideas? Really? Tim Burton is the only one? Sad...
I understand fads and trends come and go, then come again 20 years later (still anxiously awaiting the return of hair metal bands [Oh Scorpions, where art thou?]). Does that mean every childhood memory I and many others have must be brutally whored out in vain attempts to squeeze every last cent from a franchise? I guess I should count my blessings though, that things like Transformers, G.I. Joe, and the A-Team get made into mindlessly fun action movies, instead of getting all messed up with "messages".
But really, Marmaduke? Marmaduke. Who actually liked Marmaduke? It was kind of like Family Circus, in that you're not really sure why it stays in the newspaper comic strips for so long since it's just not funny. Also, if anyone steals my "Family Circus Movie" concept because of this blog post, I'm suing.
They can't even do Marmaduke right, though, I mean seriously, what the hell? Since when does Marmaduke talk? I've seen the previews, I've seen that big dog saying stupid crap, along with a plethora of other animals. Does every animal in movies these days need to talk? Milo & Otis didn't talk, they had Dudley Moore to do it for them. And I'm not talking about animals that are MEANT to talk (no matter how bad Underdog was, that doesn't change the fact that dog was supposed to talk). Ok, I need to stop talking about Marmaduke and the whole talking animals thing or I'm gonna go crazy. If it's gonna be a movie based on a comic strip, how about the Far Side? Sure it'd be random, but damn, I'd watch it.
Next up, who the hell is in charge of casting for action movies nowadays?
Two names specifically jump out at me, those being Ashton Kutcher and Jake Gyllenhaal.
Is this the new generation of action stars? Weep tears of sadness John McClane, for they have besmirched your genre. (Relax Die Hard, it's a metaphor. Real action heroes don't cry.)
So Ashton Kutcher is now a super spy? I'm all for suspension of disbelief, but there are limits. I like to think I'm a pretty imaginative guy, but it's still practically impossible to make that leap.
Oh, and whoever wrote the line, "Let's just say I work for blah blah blah, and they gave me a license to blah. (Kelso? Is that you? Wow, 30 years and you hardly aged at all! And you're a spy now? Amazing!)" needs to be dragged into the street and shot. I throw up a little in my mouth whenever I even think of that line.
Jake Gyllenhaal... wow, just...wow. From catcher to action star in only a couple short years. I can forgive the actual making of a Prince of Persia movie. That video game series has been pretty popular for something like a decade, so it was inevitable. But to make Jake Gyllenhaal the star? He's the big box office draw? We're living in bizarro world people, watch your backs! Apparently all bets are off, and wild, crazy stuff can happen at any time.
It's things like these that almost makes me hope the world ends in 2012. Or at least the scene of Los Angeles being torn up from the movie 2012. Yes, I live in LA, but I can move away, and having to relocate is a small price to pay for Hollywood to sink into the sea. (Just kidding Hollywood! Buy my script! Then I can afford to move away!)
I don't even know where I'm going with this post anymore. I could continue ranting forever about the millions and millions of dollars spent making these atrocities, while I can't even get an agent to look at what I've written (An original idea? NO! NEVER! Get out of my office!), but I won't subject the tens of people that might read this post to such a thing.
I'll leave you one final thing. I've just now decided to shelf the project I've been working on, so I can devote my attention to something I think will get bought up immediately. What is it? Three words: Captain Planet Movie. That's right, Captain Planet Movie.
To give it maximum appeal to Hollywood types, it can be about global warming! The American kid left the group and went to work at some sleazy corporation! Without him, they can't summon Captain Planet, oh no!
Heck, funding wouldn't even be a problem to make that movie. Could partner with the Obama administration and the EPA and I bet they'd pay for everything, as long as the bad guys are known as the Global Organization for Pollution. They want to destroy the Earth and everything you hold dear, that dastardly GOP! Bring in Captain Planet to save it!
As an amateur screenwriter, I find myself constantly dumbstruck at the types of movies, many large budget, that are being put out all the time. Can the people writing this stuff not come up with any original ideas? Really? Tim Burton is the only one? Sad...
I understand fads and trends come and go, then come again 20 years later (still anxiously awaiting the return of hair metal bands [Oh Scorpions, where art thou?]). Does that mean every childhood memory I and many others have must be brutally whored out in vain attempts to squeeze every last cent from a franchise? I guess I should count my blessings though, that things like Transformers, G.I. Joe, and the A-Team get made into mindlessly fun action movies, instead of getting all messed up with "messages".
But really, Marmaduke? Marmaduke. Who actually liked Marmaduke? It was kind of like Family Circus, in that you're not really sure why it stays in the newspaper comic strips for so long since it's just not funny. Also, if anyone steals my "Family Circus Movie" concept because of this blog post, I'm suing.
They can't even do Marmaduke right, though, I mean seriously, what the hell? Since when does Marmaduke talk? I've seen the previews, I've seen that big dog saying stupid crap, along with a plethora of other animals. Does every animal in movies these days need to talk? Milo & Otis didn't talk, they had Dudley Moore to do it for them. And I'm not talking about animals that are MEANT to talk (no matter how bad Underdog was, that doesn't change the fact that dog was supposed to talk). Ok, I need to stop talking about Marmaduke and the whole talking animals thing or I'm gonna go crazy. If it's gonna be a movie based on a comic strip, how about the Far Side? Sure it'd be random, but damn, I'd watch it.
Next up, who the hell is in charge of casting for action movies nowadays?
Two names specifically jump out at me, those being Ashton Kutcher and Jake Gyllenhaal.
Is this the new generation of action stars? Weep tears of sadness John McClane, for they have besmirched your genre. (Relax Die Hard, it's a metaphor. Real action heroes don't cry.)
So Ashton Kutcher is now a super spy? I'm all for suspension of disbelief, but there are limits. I like to think I'm a pretty imaginative guy, but it's still practically impossible to make that leap.
Oh, and whoever wrote the line, "Let's just say I work for blah blah blah, and they gave me a license to blah. (Kelso? Is that you? Wow, 30 years and you hardly aged at all! And you're a spy now? Amazing!)" needs to be dragged into the street and shot. I throw up a little in my mouth whenever I even think of that line.
Jake Gyllenhaal... wow, just...wow. From catcher to action star in only a couple short years. I can forgive the actual making of a Prince of Persia movie. That video game series has been pretty popular for something like a decade, so it was inevitable. But to make Jake Gyllenhaal the star? He's the big box office draw? We're living in bizarro world people, watch your backs! Apparently all bets are off, and wild, crazy stuff can happen at any time.
It's things like these that almost makes me hope the world ends in 2012. Or at least the scene of Los Angeles being torn up from the movie 2012. Yes, I live in LA, but I can move away, and having to relocate is a small price to pay for Hollywood to sink into the sea. (Just kidding Hollywood! Buy my script! Then I can afford to move away!)
I don't even know where I'm going with this post anymore. I could continue ranting forever about the millions and millions of dollars spent making these atrocities, while I can't even get an agent to look at what I've written (An original idea? NO! NEVER! Get out of my office!), but I won't subject the tens of people that might read this post to such a thing.
I'll leave you one final thing. I've just now decided to shelf the project I've been working on, so I can devote my attention to something I think will get bought up immediately. What is it? Three words: Captain Planet Movie. That's right, Captain Planet Movie.
To give it maximum appeal to Hollywood types, it can be about global warming! The American kid left the group and went to work at some sleazy corporation! Without him, they can't summon Captain Planet, oh no!
Heck, funding wouldn't even be a problem to make that movie. Could partner with the Obama administration and the EPA and I bet they'd pay for everything, as long as the bad guys are known as the Global Organization for Pollution. They want to destroy the Earth and everything you hold dear, that dastardly GOP! Bring in Captain Planet to save it!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Least Politically Correct Thing EVER
Had an idea for a sporting event. Before I continue, I know how horrible it sounds from a political correctness standpoint, but it would be a great test of morality of America and the world in general. Also, come on, just try to tell me with a straight face that you wouldn't watch every goddamn second of coverage for the...
Dwarf Olympics! (If you really want un-PC, the Oompah-lympics)
Summer and Winter versions would both have great events, even though many would need to be modified (long jump? really? hurdles? now you're just being mean).
Yes, I'm probably going to hell just for thinking of this, but would you really turn the channel away from speed skating? Ski jumping? Shotput, or even better, discus throw!
Could you really change the channel? Really?
Liars! You would watch everything from the opening ceremony to the last pole-vault (oh Lord, that one bought me a one-way ticket to perdition).
Think about it...
Dwarf Olympics! (If you really want un-PC, the Oompah-lympics)
Summer and Winter versions would both have great events, even though many would need to be modified (long jump? really? hurdles? now you're just being mean).
Yes, I'm probably going to hell just for thinking of this, but would you really turn the channel away from speed skating? Ski jumping? Shotput, or even better, discus throw!
Could you really change the channel? Really?
Liars! You would watch everything from the opening ceremony to the last pole-vault (oh Lord, that one bought me a one-way ticket to perdition).
Think about it...
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Almost ready to restart this blog
So I've been working on writing a movie script, which has consumed a lot of my time, and most of my sanity. I hope to get back to actually posting on my blog soon, now that the story is done and all that remains is some formatting stuff.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
A Year Late and a Trillion Dollars Short
Michael Stevens, a man about to face reality. The day after the 2008 election, he was in a traffic accident that left him in a coma. One year later, Nov. 5th, 2009, he woke up from his long, glorious dream. Beside him was his wife, Joan and his brother, William, both overjoyed at Michael's return to the waking world.
Mere minutes after returning from his year-long coma, he asked the question that would seal his fate.
"Joan, Will, how's Obama doing?" he asked.
"Michael, please, can we not talk politics right now? You've been asleep for a year, can't you just enjoy being back with us?" Joan pleaded.
A perplexed lood crossed Michael's face at his wife's reluctance to give him information.
"Joan, you know politics is my passion. I spent almost two years campaigning for Obama. Most of the last year I spent dreaming of how wonderful things must be now," he explained.
Before Joan could plead with him again, Will replied, "C'mon Mike, give it a rest for a little bit. The doctors said you shouldn't get any shocking news."
"Shocked at how amazing things are now that Obama has had almost a year to work his magic? If that's what you're worried about, I'm sure I can take it," said Michael, laughingly.
The look exchanged between Joan and William did not go unnoticed by Michael.
"What, what is it? What's that look for? Come on, things are a lot better now, right?" Michael said, his voice wavering.
"It's...it's fine Mike. Everything is fine," Will said unconvincingly.
"I don't believe it, what's wrong with you two?" said Michael, as he began to grow impatient.
"Michael, things aren't...they're not that great. But you know, that's politics, these things take time," explained Joan.
"Not that great? How can that be? President Obama was supposed to fix everything from the last eight years. Oh god, he wasn't assassinated, was he?" Michael exasperatingly guessed.
"No, no, he's still alive and well. It's just that we're in a situation where it's better if things stay the same, since everything seems to be getting worse," Will conceded.
"The economy?" Michael asked.
"You remember the economic collapse before the election right?" Will asked, to which Michael nodded. "Well, it's kind of gone downhill since then. They passed a $787 billion dollar emergency stimulus package, that...didn't do much. Unemployment is around 9.8% and I think they're fudging the numbers to keep it under 10%. Over a hundred banks have failed and credit isn't easy to come by, but at least the stock market is up a bit from when it bottomed out."
"787, 10%, a hundred banks...what the hell has been going on?" Michael questioned, desperately. "What about taxes? They didn't go up, right?"
"Don't worry about taxes, Michael," Joan said, trying to downplay the situation.
"Yeah, Mike, the Bush tax cuts haven't expired yet, and aside from some new taxes on cigarettes, we're not on the hook for anything big. And it'll be at least a couple years before taxes go up to pay for the new healthcare bills," Will said, wishing he'd phrased it differently.
"Healthcare bills? You mean we don't have universal healthcare yet?" questioned Michael.
"Well, Congress is really trying to get it passed this time. Sure, the last couple attempts this year failed, but the President assured us they'll get it right, if not this year, then next year for sure," Will said.
"This is too much, I can't believe this has been going on. If only the Democrats had 60 seats in the Senate, then those damn Republicans wouldn't be able to stop President Obama," Michael said.
"Michael, the Dems...they DO have 60 seats," Joan said.
"What else could go wrong? This isn't how it was supposed to be! The adults are in charge now, right?" Michael said, an edge of desperation in his voice.
"Please try to calm down Michael, this is why we didn't want to talk politics right now," Joan begged.
"No, I need to hear it or I won't be able to rest. Will, give me the truth. Iraq?"
"We're still there, sometimes it's winding down, then things can suddenly get crazy again."
"Afganistan?"
"We're in it bad, things are looking worse. Obama is weighing whether to send more troops or not."
"Ugh, damn wars. Gitmo? That's closed, right?"
"Still open, Congress won't give funding to shut it down. We let out some prisoners, and only a small percentage have gone back to being terrorists."
"What about foreign policy? The rest of the world loves Obama! He's talked Iran and North Korea into negotiations, right?"
"Not quite. North Korea has tested more missiles. Iran is closer than ever to getting a nuke. Russia is playing games with Obama, even after he cancelled the missile defense system in Eastern Europe. Things are even hot and cold with Chavez in Venezuela. Sometimes he likes Obama, sometimes he calls him an idiot and Bush clone."
"Chavez!? We can't even get Hugo Chavez on our side? Bush must have pushed us over the edge farther than we thought. What about gay marriage? Don't ask, don't tell? Those should have been passed easily, right?"
"Well....gay marriage has now been shot down 31 consecutive times when the people vote on it. Obama doesn't seem to want to tackle the issue. He doesn't even talk about don't ask, don't tell."
Michael was on the verge of a panic attack.
"What about...what about Sarah Palin? She went back to Alaska, never to be heard from again? Please, tell me she went back to Alaska to disappear."
"Oh she did. She went back to Alaska. For a little while. Then she resigned as governor, then started making speeches and backing candidates. She has a book due out in a couple weeks and it was number one Amazon and Barne's & Noble for a while, but I haven't followed it too closely. She was also partially responsible for getting one of the health care bills getting shot down."
"Why is she still around? Why aren't people just ignoring her?"
"It's tough Mike, she backed a candidate for a special election in New York for an empty seat in Congress."
"New York? He must have lost by at least 20 points. At least they can get something done to teach those Republicans a lesson."
"Actually, she didn't back the Republican candidate."
"She backed the Democrat? No way, I don't believe it."
"No, not that either. She backed the 'Conservative' candidate. He was a third party guy. After her endorsement, along with Fred Thompson and Dick Armey, he became so popular that the Republican dropped out before the election."
"But still, with her backing him, he must have lost by quite a bit."
"Three points."
"Three? Let me get this straight. A third-party candidate, backed by Sarah Palin, lost by only three points after pushing the Republican out of the race?"
"Yup."
"I need a drink. Did the doctors say when I could drink again?"
"They didn't say. Just mentioned not giving you any major shocks."
"Whew, well that must have been the worst of it and I'm still here. So, what's Hillary Clinton up to these days?"
"She's Secretary of State..."
"Mike?"
"Mike? Wake up, Mike! This isn't funny, bro! Joan, I'm gonna go find a doctor, try to wake him up!"
Mere minutes after returning from his year-long coma, he asked the question that would seal his fate.
"Joan, Will, how's Obama doing?" he asked.
"Michael, please, can we not talk politics right now? You've been asleep for a year, can't you just enjoy being back with us?" Joan pleaded.
A perplexed lood crossed Michael's face at his wife's reluctance to give him information.
"Joan, you know politics is my passion. I spent almost two years campaigning for Obama. Most of the last year I spent dreaming of how wonderful things must be now," he explained.
Before Joan could plead with him again, Will replied, "C'mon Mike, give it a rest for a little bit. The doctors said you shouldn't get any shocking news."
"Shocked at how amazing things are now that Obama has had almost a year to work his magic? If that's what you're worried about, I'm sure I can take it," said Michael, laughingly.
The look exchanged between Joan and William did not go unnoticed by Michael.
"What, what is it? What's that look for? Come on, things are a lot better now, right?" Michael said, his voice wavering.
"It's...it's fine Mike. Everything is fine," Will said unconvincingly.
"I don't believe it, what's wrong with you two?" said Michael, as he began to grow impatient.
"Michael, things aren't...they're not that great. But you know, that's politics, these things take time," explained Joan.
"Not that great? How can that be? President Obama was supposed to fix everything from the last eight years. Oh god, he wasn't assassinated, was he?" Michael exasperatingly guessed.
"No, no, he's still alive and well. It's just that we're in a situation where it's better if things stay the same, since everything seems to be getting worse," Will conceded.
"The economy?" Michael asked.
"You remember the economic collapse before the election right?" Will asked, to which Michael nodded. "Well, it's kind of gone downhill since then. They passed a $787 billion dollar emergency stimulus package, that...didn't do much. Unemployment is around 9.8% and I think they're fudging the numbers to keep it under 10%. Over a hundred banks have failed and credit isn't easy to come by, but at least the stock market is up a bit from when it bottomed out."
"787, 10%, a hundred banks...what the hell has been going on?" Michael questioned, desperately. "What about taxes? They didn't go up, right?"
"Don't worry about taxes, Michael," Joan said, trying to downplay the situation.
"Yeah, Mike, the Bush tax cuts haven't expired yet, and aside from some new taxes on cigarettes, we're not on the hook for anything big. And it'll be at least a couple years before taxes go up to pay for the new healthcare bills," Will said, wishing he'd phrased it differently.
"Healthcare bills? You mean we don't have universal healthcare yet?" questioned Michael.
"Well, Congress is really trying to get it passed this time. Sure, the last couple attempts this year failed, but the President assured us they'll get it right, if not this year, then next year for sure," Will said.
"This is too much, I can't believe this has been going on. If only the Democrats had 60 seats in the Senate, then those damn Republicans wouldn't be able to stop President Obama," Michael said.
"Michael, the Dems...they DO have 60 seats," Joan said.
"What else could go wrong? This isn't how it was supposed to be! The adults are in charge now, right?" Michael said, an edge of desperation in his voice.
"Please try to calm down Michael, this is why we didn't want to talk politics right now," Joan begged.
"No, I need to hear it or I won't be able to rest. Will, give me the truth. Iraq?"
"We're still there, sometimes it's winding down, then things can suddenly get crazy again."
"Afganistan?"
"We're in it bad, things are looking worse. Obama is weighing whether to send more troops or not."
"Ugh, damn wars. Gitmo? That's closed, right?"
"Still open, Congress won't give funding to shut it down. We let out some prisoners, and only a small percentage have gone back to being terrorists."
"What about foreign policy? The rest of the world loves Obama! He's talked Iran and North Korea into negotiations, right?"
"Not quite. North Korea has tested more missiles. Iran is closer than ever to getting a nuke. Russia is playing games with Obama, even after he cancelled the missile defense system in Eastern Europe. Things are even hot and cold with Chavez in Venezuela. Sometimes he likes Obama, sometimes he calls him an idiot and Bush clone."
"Chavez!? We can't even get Hugo Chavez on our side? Bush must have pushed us over the edge farther than we thought. What about gay marriage? Don't ask, don't tell? Those should have been passed easily, right?"
"Well....gay marriage has now been shot down 31 consecutive times when the people vote on it. Obama doesn't seem to want to tackle the issue. He doesn't even talk about don't ask, don't tell."
Michael was on the verge of a panic attack.
"What about...what about Sarah Palin? She went back to Alaska, never to be heard from again? Please, tell me she went back to Alaska to disappear."
"Oh she did. She went back to Alaska. For a little while. Then she resigned as governor, then started making speeches and backing candidates. She has a book due out in a couple weeks and it was number one Amazon and Barne's & Noble for a while, but I haven't followed it too closely. She was also partially responsible for getting one of the health care bills getting shot down."
"Why is she still around? Why aren't people just ignoring her?"
"It's tough Mike, she backed a candidate for a special election in New York for an empty seat in Congress."
"New York? He must have lost by at least 20 points. At least they can get something done to teach those Republicans a lesson."
"Actually, she didn't back the Republican candidate."
"She backed the Democrat? No way, I don't believe it."
"No, not that either. She backed the 'Conservative' candidate. He was a third party guy. After her endorsement, along with Fred Thompson and Dick Armey, he became so popular that the Republican dropped out before the election."
"But still, with her backing him, he must have lost by quite a bit."
"Three points."
"Three? Let me get this straight. A third-party candidate, backed by Sarah Palin, lost by only three points after pushing the Republican out of the race?"
"Yup."
"I need a drink. Did the doctors say when I could drink again?"
"They didn't say. Just mentioned not giving you any major shocks."
"Whew, well that must have been the worst of it and I'm still here. So, what's Hillary Clinton up to these days?"
"She's Secretary of State..."
"Mike?"
"Mike? Wake up, Mike! This isn't funny, bro! Joan, I'm gonna go find a doctor, try to wake him up!"
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Zombie Appreciation Month is almost over
Rick Waters: Hello America, I'm Rick Waters and welcome to a very special, Election season episode of Pundit Tracker. Today we'll be examining the candidates and their recent selections for their running mates.
Well, let's get right into our Daily Pundit Panel.
With us today we have Lisa Richards, Democratic Strategist, Special Consultant with the Federal Department of Democratic Affairs, and chairperson of the National Committee for the Advancement of the Progressive Agenda. Thanks for joining us today Lisa.
Lisa Richards: Thanks Rick, it's a pleasure to be here.
Rick Waters: With us also is Allen Mohammed Waterfall Green Williamson, political activist, zombie rights advocate, best-selling author, and council member of the Society for a Fair and Free Society. Welcome back to the show Allen.
Allen Williamson: All good things, Rick, Goddess Bless.
Rick: And lastly, we have with us Franklin Jameson, conservative columnist.
Franklin: Uh, thanks Rick, it's a...
Rick: So let's get right down to it.
Yesterday was a big day for the candidates as both sides announced their choices for running mates. On the left, Candidate Zombie Roosevelt chose Senator Elaine Velasquez-Davis Goldman, and on the right, a surprise pick as Zombie Heston chose his opponent from the primaries, Zombie Reagan. Thoughts from the panel?
Lisa: Well I for one am disgusted, Rick. For the Republicans to play such bitter identity politics in their choice of what is obviously a ridiculous ploy to appeal to the Zombie population, is just outrageous. Their candidate doesn't care at all for the welfare and integration of Zombies into society as a whole.
Allen: I couldn't agree more, Rick. We at the SFFS feel that it is our duty to help real Americans see the atrocity that is Zombie Heston for what it is. A mockery of the democratic process and a stain on the soul of this country. To try to fool the people into thinking that these fearmongers are really looking out for the good of society is a joke a best. They have the gall to refer to Zombies, behind closed doors, as monsters. Well I'll tell you who the real monsters are, and that is the Republican Party!
Rick: Excellent analysis as usual from our panel. Now, the next topic is...
Franklin: Excuse me, Rick. If I could say something. First, to accuse of the Republicans of playing identity pol...
Rick: Our next topic is how you think these choices will affect the outcome of this election. Effects on voter turnout especially among the party base.
Lisa: Candidate Zombie Roosevelt has shown remarkable instincts throughout the campaign and I believe he's made an amazing pick with Senator Velasquez-Davis Goldman. Once again he's shown us all just how a Presidential campaign should work. If he had any weaknesses as a candidate, she would surely help seal the gaps, so to speak. As for Zombie Reagan, I can't help feeling like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Before this pick was made, there was still the slightest chance that come November we'd actually see President Zombie Heston, but with his choice for running mate, that is plainly impossible.
Rick: Strong sentiments, Lisa. So your prediction is a landslide victory for Candidate Zombie Roosevelt?
Lisa: Absolutely, Rick. There's no doubt in my mind that come November we'll all be welcoming President-Elect Zombie Roosevelt.
Rick: Your thoughts, Allen?
Allen: We will soon bask in the glorious aura given off by the dynamic duo of President Zombie Roosevelt and Vice President Velasquez-Davis Goldman. I cannot wait for the day when I can proudly stand up and shout from the rooftops my unfettered support for their outstanding progressive agenda. To think that in only a few short years we've come so far in terms of Zombie relations, truly makes me proud to say, this is my country, and this is my President.
Rick: And how about your thoughts on Zombie Reagan?
Allen: Rick, it's perfectly fitting for those two Uncle Tombies to be together on that ticket. Even with such a diverse and open group as the Zombie race, there's bound to be some bad apples. They can both drag down the ticket, and each other back to the grave for all I care.
Franklin: Allen, did you just say Uncle Tombies?
Rick: Please wait your turn Franklin, we'll get to you in a second.
Franklin: Rick, this is outrageous! I can't believe you're going to let him throw around such racist terms without...
[STATIC]
Rick: Sorry about that folks, it seems we're experiencing some technical difficulties with the live feed from Franklin. We'll have our technicians try to get him back before the end of the panel discussion.
Care to elaborate on that term Allen? I don't believe I've heard it before.
Allen: Of course, Rick. And to answer that wild accusation from Franklin, Uncle Tombie is in no way a racist term. It's merely a way to reference a self-hating Zombie, one who has somehow worked their way to a social status above that of the average Zombie and feels it's alright for them to turn their back on the rest of their race. Even if it were even slightly racist, then it wouldn't be as it's used not to reference the Zombie race as a whole, but instead a smaller subset that should be demonized and driven out.
Rick: Learn something new every day, I guess. Thanks Allen.
Final thoughts before we go to a short commercial break; Lisa and Allen, with the re-entry of Zombie Reagan into the election, do you predict a return of the constitutionality argument used during the primaries?
Lisa: I'll leave that one to the legal scholars, Rick. Though I'm sure the question of Zombie Reagan being able to serve again in the Executive Branch is a moot point anyway.
Allen: Consti-what? What's that, Rick? I don't get it.
Rick: We'll return with our panel after a short break.
Well, let's get right into our Daily Pundit Panel.
With us today we have Lisa Richards, Democratic Strategist, Special Consultant with the Federal Department of Democratic Affairs, and chairperson of the National Committee for the Advancement of the Progressive Agenda. Thanks for joining us today Lisa.
Lisa Richards: Thanks Rick, it's a pleasure to be here.
Rick Waters: With us also is Allen Mohammed Waterfall Green Williamson, political activist, zombie rights advocate, best-selling author, and council member of the Society for a Fair and Free Society. Welcome back to the show Allen.
Allen Williamson: All good things, Rick, Goddess Bless.
Rick: And lastly, we have with us Franklin Jameson, conservative columnist.
Franklin: Uh, thanks Rick, it's a...
Rick: So let's get right down to it.
Yesterday was a big day for the candidates as both sides announced their choices for running mates. On the left, Candidate Zombie Roosevelt chose Senator Elaine Velasquez-Davis Goldman, and on the right, a surprise pick as Zombie Heston chose his opponent from the primaries, Zombie Reagan. Thoughts from the panel?
Lisa: Well I for one am disgusted, Rick. For the Republicans to play such bitter identity politics in their choice of what is obviously a ridiculous ploy to appeal to the Zombie population, is just outrageous. Their candidate doesn't care at all for the welfare and integration of Zombies into society as a whole.
Allen: I couldn't agree more, Rick. We at the SFFS feel that it is our duty to help real Americans see the atrocity that is Zombie Heston for what it is. A mockery of the democratic process and a stain on the soul of this country. To try to fool the people into thinking that these fearmongers are really looking out for the good of society is a joke a best. They have the gall to refer to Zombies, behind closed doors, as monsters. Well I'll tell you who the real monsters are, and that is the Republican Party!
Rick: Excellent analysis as usual from our panel. Now, the next topic is...
Franklin: Excuse me, Rick. If I could say something. First, to accuse of the Republicans of playing identity pol...
Rick: Our next topic is how you think these choices will affect the outcome of this election. Effects on voter turnout especially among the party base.
Lisa: Candidate Zombie Roosevelt has shown remarkable instincts throughout the campaign and I believe he's made an amazing pick with Senator Velasquez-Davis Goldman. Once again he's shown us all just how a Presidential campaign should work. If he had any weaknesses as a candidate, she would surely help seal the gaps, so to speak. As for Zombie Reagan, I can't help feeling like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Before this pick was made, there was still the slightest chance that come November we'd actually see President Zombie Heston, but with his choice for running mate, that is plainly impossible.
Rick: Strong sentiments, Lisa. So your prediction is a landslide victory for Candidate Zombie Roosevelt?
Lisa: Absolutely, Rick. There's no doubt in my mind that come November we'll all be welcoming President-Elect Zombie Roosevelt.
Rick: Your thoughts, Allen?
Allen: We will soon bask in the glorious aura given off by the dynamic duo of President Zombie Roosevelt and Vice President Velasquez-Davis Goldman. I cannot wait for the day when I can proudly stand up and shout from the rooftops my unfettered support for their outstanding progressive agenda. To think that in only a few short years we've come so far in terms of Zombie relations, truly makes me proud to say, this is my country, and this is my President.
Rick: And how about your thoughts on Zombie Reagan?
Allen: Rick, it's perfectly fitting for those two Uncle Tombies to be together on that ticket. Even with such a diverse and open group as the Zombie race, there's bound to be some bad apples. They can both drag down the ticket, and each other back to the grave for all I care.
Franklin: Allen, did you just say Uncle Tombies?
Rick: Please wait your turn Franklin, we'll get to you in a second.
Franklin: Rick, this is outrageous! I can't believe you're going to let him throw around such racist terms without...
[STATIC]
Rick: Sorry about that folks, it seems we're experiencing some technical difficulties with the live feed from Franklin. We'll have our technicians try to get him back before the end of the panel discussion.
Care to elaborate on that term Allen? I don't believe I've heard it before.
Allen: Of course, Rick. And to answer that wild accusation from Franklin, Uncle Tombie is in no way a racist term. It's merely a way to reference a self-hating Zombie, one who has somehow worked their way to a social status above that of the average Zombie and feels it's alright for them to turn their back on the rest of their race. Even if it were even slightly racist, then it wouldn't be as it's used not to reference the Zombie race as a whole, but instead a smaller subset that should be demonized and driven out.
Rick: Learn something new every day, I guess. Thanks Allen.
Final thoughts before we go to a short commercial break; Lisa and Allen, with the re-entry of Zombie Reagan into the election, do you predict a return of the constitutionality argument used during the primaries?
Lisa: I'll leave that one to the legal scholars, Rick. Though I'm sure the question of Zombie Reagan being able to serve again in the Executive Branch is a moot point anyway.
Allen: Consti-what? What's that, Rick? I don't get it.
Rick: We'll return with our panel after a short break.
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